All the days Adam had Ava! But remember he’s only a part time parent. I’m the real warrior. Bettering Ava’s life by doing nothing at all.

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Hey y’all! It’s me, the one and only Momica! Yes, the queen of parenting via Roblox and supreme architect of my daughter’s inevitable therapy bills. I know you’ve missed me—life’s been just sooo busy as I juggle alienating my kid from her father while simultaneously achieving greatness in the only place that matters: my virtual kingdom on Roblox. #Priorities

So, what’s been happening in the fabulous life of Momica, you ask? Well, first things first: I’m on a mission to become the richest, most powerful person on Roblox. I’m this close to getting my mega shadow dragon, which—let’s be real—is basically the pinnacle of my existence. Forget any real-world accomplishments; this is where my legacy will live on. When I finally snag that dragon, I might just have a, um, “special moment” thinking about Adam realizing how amazing I am and crawling back to give me the life I so obviously deserve. Because, duh, who wouldn’t want to relive my glory days when I was a cocktail waitress with a nose for the finest powder?

Oh, and about Adam—did I mention I’ve been doing my best to protect our precious daughter, Ava, from the horrors of a stable relationship with her father? I mean, I have to make sure she knows that any woman Adam dates is obviously trying to replace me as Ava’s one and only Mommy. Nothing says love like planting seeds of doubt in your kid’s mind about the people who care for her, right? Telling her daddy was barely there during the early years. I hope there’s no screenshots proving I’m full of shit about my whole it’s just you and me baby against the world! 

Speaking of Ava, let’s talk parenting. I’m basically the cool mom who lets her wear makeup and outfits that would make Adam faint. If he tries to enforce any boundaries, I just tell Ava to keep it our little secret. After all, who needs consistency between households? I’m raising a future mini-me here—someone who knows the power of emotional manipulation and the art of looking fabulous while doing it. Stripper lashes and pink eyeshadow? Absolutely! TikTok strangers knowing our exact location? Why not? Just another day in the life of the most responsible, hands-on mom ever.

But it’s not all fun and games—sometimes I have to take a break from my high-score grind to wonder why people would post a website full of my totally justified text rants and genius-level parenting decisions. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever done anything wrong. Clearly, I’m just the victim of a world that doesn’t understand the pressures of being an almost 50-year-old Roblox warrior and full-time social media stalker. It’s tough out here!

And let’s not forget my commitment to Ava’s social life! I’m all for setting her up with the best influences. Like that woman who’s been liking all of Adam’s Facebook posts—she’s got only a few assault charges, so obviously, she’s prime playdate material. Anything to keep Ava occupied so Mommy can focus on what really matters—like breaking into the top Roblox ranks and conjuring up conspiracy theories about Adam’s trashy ex-girlfriends who are obviously obsessed with me. The world revolves around me, after all.

So, to all my loyal followers and haters alike, stay toxic, keep stalking, and don’t forget to join me on Roblox. Maybe I’ll let you hold my Bat Dragon, if you’re lucky. It’s not like I’m nearly 50 and should be utterly embarrassed by all this. Nope, I’m living my best life, one delusion at a time. Kisses! 😘